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Writer's Block: Phobias

Do you have a remarkable phobia? Does your phobia have a large impact on your life?
Phobia? Maybe. I have this horrible fear of not being able to be on something solid or at least something I know. Where I live is the main factor, a lot of times I've ran/drove across thin ice and over large cracks a lot of times and it took quite a tole on my mind, mostly 'casue I can't swim. I have to know I won't fall oddly, I like plane rides, trubulance I find someimes fun so it's all mixed. LIke being on the edge of a mountain, or close to deep water or just slipping can get me papanoyed.
 I remeber me and my mom went fishing and we had to run across an inch of ice to cross, wilting under my feet as it passed, my ears going stadic and my vision bluring in pure fear.
 Sometimes my family would travil on the land, passing ice 6 feet cracks that we can bearly jump over with macines and sleds, and this single moment when I decided to look down from the sky and look to the ice and only meeet up with three seconds of pure, cold, fear of the black Arctic sea will always stop my heart. 
There is a mountain over looking my community and me and my dad had gone walking it up, I stood over the edge, looking down and imagined someone falling over, high enough to hurt, but it's not steep to kill and that seemed even worse than falling and dying to have to live the pain and only having so much to bear, it would take three agonizing hours before anyone would get proper care in another community.  
What about death and the shock of reality sometimes....The odd days when I'm horribly depressed, I don't ever want to leave my bed or when I hate my music and all the reading stuff on the net is shit, I think the universe is too much. My hand full of years of this life would become meaningless in the matter of five minutes, powerful images of all the people I know nd love tured to hate me and I would hate them, dying in this second won't stop the excistance of the others and if the would blew up, things will keep moving. Like nothing mattered when I want something to.

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